Holy Words and Hope

What gives you direction in life?

Direction.. it’s a hard thing to achieve.

Long have I floated, much akin to a leaf being pushed about by the wind. Drifting, from place to place, from one event to the next.

My path through this life has always been uncharted, aimless, and indirect. Where most people have had plans, I have nothing. I don’t feel the call of any career. I have no concept of a structured future for me.

And, it’s not that I don’t think I’m capable. I know I can do a lot of the things that many people think I should. I’ve been told to pursue college, careers, paths. But I don’t feel any draw to them.

I don’t know what I was made for. People pursue these things for all kinds of reasons, reasons which I simply don’t have. I don’t long for money, or an exotic lifestyle, or even most luxuries. I don’t yearn for greatness, or mastery of a skill.

I don’t value a modern education, through institutions that seem uninspired and smothering.

I don’t feel compelled to travel.

And so I turn to the one thing that has not failed me: my faith.

I’ve never been a very good Christian. I try, but I struggle. And yet, when everything is falling apart, I can cling to it, knowing that it has remained sturdy, steady, and unchanging. That in pursuit of this, I can do nothing wrong. That the pursuit of the tenants of my faith, I will improve myself daily.

I still seek a path. A calling, a beacon of light in the aimless dark which I live. I have Holy Words, and I have hope that I will be better each day.