Proper Manhood

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

What does it mean to be a man? In an era fraught with social media influencers, films and tv series, and real world leaders behaving in increasingly erratic ways, boys across the country and even the world are being led into a false perception of who they should become.

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility

The classic problem of most young men in America is the problem of poorly directed strength.

As men, we are endowed with the biological gifts that make us capable of so much wonderful work, and yet, we often expend that strength and energy on fruitless endeavors. The modern man often finds himself relentlessly pursuing money and entertainment, generally to their own disadvantage.

The “man-o-sphere” encourages this kind of behavior. It pushes you to pursue women, grind for money, and drown your emotions in vice. Utilize your strength for passing, ephemeral things.

This is what young men are taught they should want, and so they pursue it ravenously. They waste their young years working three or four jobs to buy things they don’t need, to impress women who don’t love them, and enjoy vices that won’t satisfy.

The Strength Of Disciplined Minds

To be a good man, you have to let these things go, and choose to put your time where it matters. You have great power as a man, and it is your responsibility to harness it for good.

Firstly, every man needs a community. The lone wolf, alpha male dogma of the past twenty years has lead to sad, lonely men, incapable of generating social relationships. This is not what you were made for. You NEED a community.

Secondly, you need to discipline your mind. This comes in a number of ways: hard exercise, intentional discomfort, intense study, and acts of kindness.

You are the hero of your own story, and to be the hero you need, you must be strong enough to fight battles, you must be able to withstand hardship with endurance, you must be knowledgeable and wise to make good choices, and you must, most importantly, be kind to those people around you.

Thirdly, you must tame your emotions. This is the hardest. The heart is the center of all unthinking action. It is prone to outbursts of unreasoned passion and rage, and leads often into depraved and violent behavior. But when under control, when allowed to flow at appropriate times, it can be a good thing. Thus, you must acknowledge the danger of emotions unchecked. They will destroy your relationships, your career, your friendships, and finally, you.

The Power of Trained Focus

Focus is a neglected tool in the arsenal of man. You must train it, sharpen it, and use it throughout the day.

This world is full of distractions from who you are meant to be. This includes the vices and passions of the flesh, and the entertainments that intoxicate the mind.

“Social media” and other forms of addictech keep you from becoming the man you were created to be, a man capable of so many good things.

It is increasingly difficult to do good from behind a screen. Good is a gift passed from one individual to another, for the betterment of both, and the best way is face to face, eye to eye.

The Final End of a Man

I have spent years of my life caring for the dying. And I’ve regularly seen the end of those people’s lives, their last few days on this planet. Those who die happy are old, grey, and excited to see their loved ones in the afterlife. They’ve been kind, caring, and generous to those around them. Even in their being alone at the end, they aren’t lonely, because they easily befriend those around them.

The ones who die in despair are the ones who lived life for pleasure, gain, and entertainment. They’ve are usually angry, spiteful, and miserable. There is no comfort for their pain, no understanding of their suffering, only wrath and depression in equal measure. In their loneliness they wallow, and refuse to be comforted by anyone who will care for them.

The proper man, the true man, should be free to die well, no matter the death. To look back on all the good he has accomplished, and all the joy of life. To remember the beautiful places and things he has seen, and to know that though all will be forgotten, he did good with the time that was given.

That is who you were made to be. But you have to earn it. It won’t be given, and it can’t be taken. It is bought with the price of struggle, and discipline, and love.