The past year has been very good for my mental state, and I’ve accomplished so much more than I’d ever imagined. The beginning of the year was rough, and I was in an astonishingly low place due to a very unhealthy friendship that I had maintained for several years. But by the end of the first quarter, I had pushed past this very well, something I’m very proud of. ultimately, I realized my loyalty needed to be measured, and that trust needed to be limited.
I also faced my biggest challenge at the beginning of the year, what was intended to be a 40 mile hike over a week long period, completely alone. I thought at first I had failed, calling it quits on the second day. I had struggled against severe flooding, overnight freezes, and generally a lack of experience. But after I withdrew, the next day temperatures dropped rapidly, and an unexpected rainstorm blew through, effectively freezing the area in. Had I stayed, I would have been trapped on the side of a mountain for several days. Lucky me.
I took a few more trips, quick overnighters, and each one seemed to end with a new, profound brand of failure. I felt frustrated, exhausted, and defeated. I struggle doing anything bushcrafting or firearms related, and I’ve only been able to shoot about 10 times this year. Things are getting better though, and I hope to start the year on a good note, with a strong loud bang.
I’ve also had to deal with a massive lack of commitment to anything outside of work, and I’ve been pulling double shifts and taking extra hours. I’m really exhausted by this, but hopefully that’s going to be done for soon as well. I’m looking forward to big things this coming year.
I’ve got a strong sense of optimism coming into the next year that I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve got a group of people backing me up now, pushing me to succeed. Going it alone was hard, but that has hopefully made me more durable. I’ve been through the worst times I thought were possible, and things are certainly looking up.
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